clinical environments are impressively distressing to me. although i occasionally find myself immersed in them to be with and support someone else, i am otherwise skilled at avoiding them. this morning, i had one unruly (yet really lovely:)) wisdom tooth removed. though i realize that this a common procedure that may seem like a small matter to many or most people, i felt terrified—and have spent the past two weeks barely able to think about much else. very early this morning, awake and unable to sleep, i scribbled out the following:
‘i trust.
i am grounded in confidence.
i trust myself to create the best version of my life.
i trust the man who will be working with me this morning—in his confidence and his experience and his skill.
i trust myself, in every situation, to be a giver and receiver of light and love and good.
i will soften my shaking, deepen my breathing…
…and trust.’
i can recall few other times during which i have felt so challenged to surrender any unsupportive mind chatter and/or fears—and to more fully trust that all is as it should be.
at one point, this morning, the surgeon, obviously aware of my tension, simply said, ‘trust me. i know what i’m doing. just trust me.’
yes, sir. yes, please.
everything went so well—so exceptionally better than i’ve envisioned it going, during moments of focused intention.
i am grateful to have the experience behind me.
i am grateful for good people who, when needed, do good work.
i am grateful for reminders that, while they are essential for this physical experience, we are not our physical bodies.
we are expansive and connected and creative and powerful…
we are, at all times, whole.