i ran outdoors this morning to corral yard~strewn books and blankets, keeping them dry from this light rain, and felt the air in a different way. not in scent or in direction…rather, in the way i took it in, and in the way it took me in.
less incidental.
more focused.
a near sharpness to a sonorous, aimless drift…
i am exactly where i wish to be.
most recently, i have been waning in and out of ease with the dizzying, dynamic feel of my path toward the, otherwise stable, “big-picture” purpose. i have shite~loads of projects on the table, many of which may never meet their maturity simply due to time constraints and the ebb and flow of my focus.
for the past few years, i have been very purpose~driven, revising priorities near daily—fervently working toward pulling certain visions into reality—consistent in considering my contentment in this moment…and trusting that divine unfoldment soundly rests in the purity of perfection. i believe that it does, and so it does. (i also believe that whoever first created the idea for carpet deserves a spanking and that pogo~sticks should be sold on every street corner like cantaloupe…subjects for another time;))
sometimes i forget how healing and grounding tea and laugh-strewn visits with dear friends are. i {occasionally} forget to spend time each day sitting in pure bliss and gratitude for these relationships. i feel equally as excited and blessed for the beautiful souls i am connecting with in a community that i can {finally} envision myself rooting in.
i would love to build a tree house…and an earth house…and a straw house (laughing as i type). i wish to turn our entire yard into a wild (and cultivated) garden space and, from time to time, running a couple of small written projects through an independent press takes a casual turn on the burner. i (fully) intend to love and support us {you and i} in any and all ways that i can. i want to continue creating, with one or several partners, an intimate healing space with its heart~centered sight on deep soulful transformation. i would adore fixing up a truck from the late 60’s/early 70’s, and driving it around, undirected, with one foot on the dash—that’s a random eight on a list as long as three ladders.
i’m okay if i experience all of them.
i’m okay if there’s an entirely different draft in the making.
when emory was born, i made a commitment to (by the time she reached school-starting age) remain wherever we would be for the duration of her interest in school. *we are here*…and, as it turns out, it is exactly where i wish to be.
we will be sitting down with the peeps (a mom & son duo) who own this house sometime this summer—sale talk. —that serious about staying…and though i feel, even now, my signature weak~in~the~knees sensation at the (still a bit cluttered) thought of committing myself to a place or location, i also feel that right awareness—the one that screams “YES!”
this is where i will be living for a long while.
it is a new quality to the air and, therefore, on notable repeat.
my mind will continue to dance, unrestrained, with future~shaping ideas and interests. i know myself well enough to expect little else and, admittedly, i love the intense, passionate and substantial stream of thought and change. still, i am allowing myself to set aside the things that i am working toward to fully embrace the things that are *here,* that are *now*…and resting in knowing that the kettle is always on…:)