i treasure the little events in our lives that stir up a story—or part of a story—wishing to be told. this morning, the perfect event presented itself—the perfect ‘stirring’ followed—and, now, what i feel will be one of the more important stories that i share in this space will be told…
***
as i’ve written before, there are a handful of more prominent growth inducing energies that i often pick up from the souls i meet up with in this life; guilt and fear staunchly sit at the top of the list—yet, insecurity {of any variety} works hard to hang just as closely on that top rung.
emory has been spending much time outdoors and, as the weather has turned cold, her hands and lips have become a bit dry. she’s been slathering this healing salve (a rarely used, but static fixture on our kitchen window ledge…used to be a ‘static fixture’ anyway;)) all over these areas. the salve is a thick oil base in which several healing plants have been infused. instead of any sort of relief or healing, however, the salve has stirred up a reactive rash around the areas she’s applied it—both her hands and around her lips. while it hasn’t seemed like a huge deal to her and is quickly healing now that she’s stopped using it, she’s tossed out a couple of comments that let me know that she’s aware and conscientious of the way she looks to others at school.
i fully feel the concern through her—and i fully understand. my guess is that most of us would and do.
[back track several years…]
while i never thought much about it then—during the college years, there were a handful of times when people i had never met stopped me on the street, in a hallway or on the bus during transit time between classes to ask me what i use for and how i take care of my skin. again, the appearance of my skin was not top on my list of considerations at the time and, glancing back, considering the school foods that i was regularly consuming and my strictly simple, if not lackadaisical regimen of baby wash and petroleum based ‘curel’ lotion, i’m surprised that it was as visibly healthy as it was—but, it was—sufficiently, anyway, to conjure up enough boldness in these few people to attempt to procure some bit of routine wisdom for their own ‘at home’ rituals.
[…forward several more…]
we all have what i like to call life changer lessons strung out across our earthly journey—pivotal moments that play a large role in coloring and defining the work that we’ve come through to take part in. one of mine stems from an incident (because there really are no “accidents”) that played out several years ago. in hindsight, the pivotal brew was perfect. i was incredibly far off of my life path, creating much internal stress—and i was working daily around large and ominous-feeling machinery. the exact story is long and one that i feel is unimportant to recount, detail-wise, these days. what became the aftermath is so much more valuable. there were resulting structural and internal shifts that i was pushed to learn to heal and balance out—but, the real instigators of growth and change were the outward expressions. not only were there direct burns that would take much time to heal and are still lightly present, but (looking back, i assume as a result of digestive changes from internal shifting) my once “flawless” skin began reacting to things that never bothered it before……
i am and always have been a very confident being—but, this experience really shook and challenged my sense of boldness and spirit for a sweet stretch. like emory, leaving for school this morning, i was suddenly very aware and conscientious of the way that i appeared to others.
these visible keepsakes were even more effectively streamlined with an internal discomfort, an abrupt reality that a couple of joints were not functioning as they used to, that my jaw was not hinged in exactly the same way, and that a couple of my precious teeth had surrendered a piece or two. i spent, not days or months, but years working towards an understanding of what happened, why it happened, and how to heal and regain balance—both emotionally and physically. there were many things that i did not know. what i did know: i was not exactly as i was before this experience. what i would not know until years later: i would not wish to be exactly as i was before this experience.
((a not-so-surprising side note: every person i’ve spoken with, who is coming through this life as a healer of some sort, has worked their way through one or more monumental-to-them ‘life changers.’ it’s as if they become an initiation of sorts into the line of work. this humbles, awes and intrigues me.))
…memories of the beautiful people who had stopped me during the college years began flooding back in—and it hurt me, deeply, that i was so short and detached with my responses to, what i recognize now, were probably very important inquisitions to them.
…moving forward…
the ways in which this experience has afforded me to connect with the other souls i’ve worked through and with has been priceless. tears of gratitude for all of it stream down my face as i type right now. the best teachers in our lives are often the ones that allow us, in a personally connected and emotionally charged fashion, to (further down the road) visit and understand situations more fully through another’s eyes. there’s no way that i could come close to quantifying the value in the way i’ve been able to offer guidance to others simply because i’ve been able to deeply connect with and feel their concern and transformative wishes through them.
like many “life changer lessons,” i occasionally glance back to recognize a couple of mindful gifts wrapped around this one:
- i (have always been and) am whole, healthy and complete. believing in this throughout the years has made it tangibly so—and that is a powerful, powerful universal handout and remembrance.
- rash or no rash, when emory walks into a room, the world sees her—and it sees her as the beautiful and perfect being that she is.
i think that each of us would be hard pressed to discover a soul going through this life who does not or has not experienced some type of earthly insecurity during their travels. i’ve come to realize and recognize, with conviction, these perceptive insecurities as the universal nudges towards inward growth and transformation that they are.
……so, in carrying this second thought further into the light:
when YOU walk into a room, the world sees you—and it sees you as the beautiful and perfect being that you are.
aho!
i deeply love and honor each of us, and i value the moments of struggle every bit as much as i value the moments of grace—for all play an essential role in creating our amazing presence, and taking us further along the path of fulfillment and wisdom.
to and for all articulations of this incredible journey:
yes, please.
more, please.
thank you!
♥
~♥~