dear daughter

Dear Daughter, 

Occasionally, while reflecting on a moment when I was your age, during which I told my dad that I wish he and my mom would be more like friends, I wonder if you’ll ever wish the same. Following this moment, my dad’s words were clear and concise. He said, “I’m not your friend. I’m your dad. And I’m the only dad that you have.” I like to believe, even amidst my teenage naivety, that I recognized the wisdom in those words that day. But if I didn’t, I understand them now.

So, should you have similar thoughts, I would like for you to know how vast and precious I think this job of being your mother is. As your mother, I have four unified privileges: to unconditionally love you, to protect you, to support you and to do all of this while allowing you to be you. 
I challenge you to find a friend who will consistently do all four of these things.

To Unconditionally Love. 
Whatever your choices, wherever your life takes you, whomever you meet; 
I will love all of you with all of me. Always.

To Protect. 
Sometimes from the shadows. 
Sometimes at the forefront and with fierceness. 
Always without hesitation.

To Support and Allow. 
I will forever be open to what you know in your heart is best for your life and, when you look around, you will find me there—standing firmly beside your happiness and your ability to speak your truth. 

You can reliably depend upon me, every moment of every day, to be present and to fulfill all of the above. 
I challenge you to find a friend who will do the same.

I will guide you in the ways of feeling and knowing strength, happiness, limitless heights, heart-led love, and unwavering kindness.

While there might be many things and decisions that you won’t like or understand, there will also be many moments when we do feel like the best of friends. I will concede to the occasional shopping trip, even though it’s not my favorite activity. We’ll watch movies. Though maybe reluctantly at times, we’ll share a few secrets. We’ll talk about boys. We’ll laugh until we have tears streaming down our cheeks. At every age, we will dream about our futures. 

Someday we will look behind us. We’ll look at and laugh about parts of the most recent years. We’ll look at and laugh about parts of years that feel far away. Each changing year that we reflect on will have one thing that remains the same; through both good and not-so-good moments, we ventured together. 

As you’re reflecting, you’ll see the faces and remember the names of many of your friends—and maybe all of your best friends…but I won’t be included in this group of treasured people. I will be somewhere that they could never be. I will be in the safe and devoted space of being your mother. It is a role and space that I cherish and am grateful for every single day.

Happy 16th Birthday, Sweet Girl!

Love, 
Mom