a life of limitless lovers

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

—Eden Ahbez

I want to experience a life of limitless lovers.

I don’t mind if they have gray hair or no hair, if they’re young or old, if they live with 20 other people or alone. I don’t mind if they are men or women.

I want to experience you and to love you.

I want to know what it’s like to hold an embrace—long enough to feel unsure where one of us ends and the other begins.

I want to show up, to be present, to be still—and I want the fifth hour to be just as interesting as the first. I want the fifth hour to assure us that there are more hours ahead, and I want to feel excited and ready to greet them.

I want to walk away from our time together feeling full and sustained and whole and free and one with. I want this without feeling the need to share intimate, physical space. I want to reserve this variety of sacred space for only those we feel a certain alignment with. I want this love to be purely and wholly about soul-to-soul connection, and this combined divine & earthly experience.

I want to laugh. I want to be able to pick out your laugh in a roomful of laughter. I want to know the dynamic, yet harmonic dance of our laugh—together.

I want to change and to grow and I want to witness it through both of our eyes.

I want things and feelings that only make sense in our disconnection to fall away—to become silent.

I want to sincerely and authentically take in the ways that you place your feet and hold your ground. I want you to share in an unfiltered fashion. I want you to know that I see you as perfect and that I appreciate all of the ways that your path differs from mine. Unveil your doubts, your worries, your sadness, your happiness, your hopes, your visions, your dreams; I want to see you, to really see you—and I want to be seen by you.

I want to travel deep—submarine deep. And when we come back up, take days to sit, in a cozy space, with an endless supply of tea and awe, to sift through and process all that we discovered.

I want you to able to raise your voice, to be able to say things that momentarily stun me—then, I want to be able to quiet my mind, to step away, to see this as part of the process—ours…and to remain solid and present.

Whether it’s every day, or just once; I want to sink into a moment—a surrendered, selfless moment—during which, even though I have never enjoyed coffee and you’ve never used a keyboard with more than two fingers at a time, I am certain that we are the same—that we are one.

In each soul, I see this love.

I see this lover.

I am this lover.

I want the world to heal in this boundless and timeless sense of unity and compassion.

(elephant journal, november 2013)